Archive for category Writing ideas from life

Literary Porn

May 17

Posted by Tony Burton in The business of writing, Writing ideas from life, Writing well | 19 Comments

No, NO!  It’s not what you think!  I’m not talking about Hemingway writing about a three-way, or Michener writing… well, never mind what Michener might write.  The mind boggles.

What I’m talking about is a topic that arose recently on the Dorothy-L listserv, the idea that some people write about particular topics with such passion and descriptive phrases that show a love… nay, a lust for a particular pastime or object.  We’re talking about things like car porn, gun porn, airplane porn, food porn, desert racing porn, tool porn and even debt porn.  (I have to admit that last one is beyond me….)

One Dorothy-L subscriber mentioned that an article in Washington Monthly said this about Tom Clancy: “Tom Clancy may not be able to write a good love scene between a man and a woman, but he can certainly write a good love scene between a man and a weapons system.”

But, I confess: when someone complained that a few people had labeled his choices of crime fiction as spy porn and he felt aggrieved about that, I was the one who suggested that the people who made that observation were not talking about sex in the traditional sense, but rather that the books he liked glorified the action and technique of spying, revelled in it, got into the depths of it and rolled around in the clandestine nature of it in fits of ecstasy.  (Well, maybe I didn’t say it quite that way, but that’s what I meant.)  The television show “24″ is a great example of spy porn.

So, in defense of those who may attach a label of “___________ porn” to any form of literature, I offered my own off-the-cuff version of a short passage of literary knife porn.  For your reading enjoyment, here it is.  (Oh, and unless you are in a strangely controlling work environment, it is Safe For Work.)

“Ronnie held the sleek Gerber Mark II in his hand, feeling the hilt warm to his touch. As he turned it, light from the street lamp outside the window glinted on the blade and seemed to travel along the polished, razor-sharp edge, at last flashing at the needle-like point like a star breaking through the firmament. He smiled and nodded.  This was the one.  He took up the sheath and slid the weapon into it, his lips slightly parted as the steel slipped home between the snugly caressing folds of leather. He pulled on his jacket, covering the sheath hanging beneath his arm and embraced it to him as a lover. No one else would know it was there… but he would. He could feel it.”

A few people wrote me off-list and told me they really liked it, and a couple said they felt strangely excited by reading it.  I made a mental note of those folks and decided not to ever turn my back on them when there were sharp objects lying around.  (I don’t have a Gerber Mark II, but I have held one before and they are very nice blades.  I have a few knives, though, and probably the scariest one is my latest acquisition, a SOG SEAL Team knife, once called the SOG SEAL Knife 2000.)

Here’s what I’d love: If you are a writer, pick some subject or object you are really passionate about, and write a short “porn” piece about it—maybe 50 to 75 words—and post it here as a comment.  Remember, this is NOT real porn, so descriptions of personal plumbing or reproductive/pleasuring are NOT what I’m interested in.  I want to see how you can turn your hand to writing a short scene that evokes a feeling of passion… focus… perhaps even an obsession about an object or activity.  See if you can make the readers here start to fan themselves.

If you are NOT a writer, I’ll bet you have read a piece somewhere that is a porn piece.  Maybe it’s someone waxing rhapsodic about a particular car, or drooling over a certain computer.  Show us that piece, either by typing it into the comment area, C&P’ing it in, or giving us a link to it.

Come on people, show us just how much verbal sensuality you can dredge up!  And I make this offer: I will send a copy of The Writer’s Journey Journal to one of those who submits a sample of his or her own personal literary porn, chosen by a random drawing from among the names of those who submit samples.  I will draw from among those names next week, and announce the winner here.

As someone once said, “Let the bloodbath begin….”

Copyright 2010  Tony Burton

Travelling Back In Time

Dec 15

Posted by Tony Burton in Day to day living, Writing ideas from life | 1 Comment

Did you ever get the feeling that you somehow had stepped back in time, or maybe fallen into a time warp?  I got that feeling today.

As Buddy and I were out running errands for building our house (picking up pressure-treated 2×8 planks for garage door header beams), I also had to pull into WalMart to pick up a couple of items.  Buddy was eagerly awaiting me in the truck, but I had to slow down and finally stopped, uncertain of what I was seeing.

If you are as old as I am, you can remember back in the late Sixties and early Seventies, how the people usually called “hippies” had a predilection for tie-dyed clothing, a laid-back lifestyle, and Volkswagen microbuses.  (For you younger folks who don’t know about hippies, think organic alternative lifestyle combined with tree-hugging, rock music, a desire for peace across the whole world, and recreational drug use.  Got it?  Good.)

Well, right here at the edge of the Calhoun WalMart parking lot, was an old Volkswagen microbus with a peace sign hand-painted on the side.  It was like stepping back through that old television show The Time Tunnel.microbus-door

Sitting in the open side door was a dynamically-dressed Earth-motherly type with a profusion of dreadlocks, braiding colorful fiber (I can only suppose it to be hemp) into a rainbow of braided cord jewelry.  In a few moments I saw some movement inside the microbus, and a male figure with a beard came into view, a brightly tie-dyed kerchief covering his own dreadlocks.

I didn’t want to be rude and stare, but I really wanted to know more about these two folks.  So, after arguing with myself and discussing it with Buddy in the comfort of my pickup truck, I decided to bite the proverbial bullet: I walked over and greeted the folks in the microbus.

Jay and Donna (Jay has the beard) live in Seattle for most of the year, but as the holidays are approaching, they are on their way to visit family and friends in Key West.  (They got their cell Jay-and-Donnaphone the last time they were in Key West, thus that’s why they have a south-Florida phone number instead of a Seattle number.)

I should say they “hope” to be with family in time for the Christmas holidays; failing that, by New Year’s Day.  Their 1970 Volkswagen microbus, named Janis after the famous singer whose image on a jacquard throw adorns the ceiling of their vehicle, is getting on in years and needs occasional work. In fact, Jay told me they had spent some time in Chattanooga because a large part of their transport’s electrical system had issues.  Several items had to be repaired: turn signals, tail lights, etc.  I asked them, as I saw the advertisement on the side of their vehicle, if that was what they do for a living.  “Yep, we do the tie-dye, custom patchwork, make jewelry, all that sort of thing,” Jay told me.

“Jay has some painting work lined up down in Key West,” Donna added, “and I’ll be selling my work at the Key West Craft Show.”  She gestured to an array of braided bracelets, anklets, etc., that she had hanging on large rings nearby.

While I was there, a car pulled up with customers for their wares. They were running short of cash, so they were in a very low-key manner raising money to pay for gas to continue their journey.  I admire that work ethic, although I did warn Jay and Donna that Calhoun is not a very artsy-fartsy sort of place, and that he might have better luck selling their stuff down in Little Five Points in Atlanta.  “Yeah, we’ve heard about Little Five Points,” Donna said. “We usually stay out of the big cities, though,” put in Jay.Jay, Donna, and Cheech

As I stood there chatting with the two of them, I saw more movement inside the vehicle and realized that they were not alone.  Their traveling companion was a small chubby chihuahua by the name of Cheech.  “He’s a rescue dog,” Donna told me. “When we got him his name was already Cheech, so we stuck with it.”

Jay grinned.  “People are always asking us, ‘Where’s Chong?’”

It’s a long drive from Seattle to Key West… about the farthest you can go across the Lower 48 of the USA without backtracking somewhere.  “We go down there every year to visit family,” Jay said.  “Usually at the holidays.”

Donna grinned. “We’re following the sun.  Getting away from all that rain in Seattle.” She looked up at the cloudy sky. “There was almost as much rain in Chattanooga as in Seattle, though.”

I had things I needed to do, so I asked if I could take a few photos and blog about them.  They very graciously acceded to my request, so here they are.  As I drove away, another car had pulled up and was purchasing some braided bracelets.  If you happen to be in Key West in January, go by and see them at the Key West Craft Show.  They make some great handmade cord jewelry.  And if you see Janis the microbus rolling down the highway anywhere between Key West and Seattle, honk your horn and wave at Cheech.  He’s the one without the dreads.

Copyright ⓒ2009   Tony Burton

Plants, Drugs, and Death

Jul 29

Posted by Tony Burton in Day to day living, Writing ideas from life | 2 Comments

It’s time for a little bit o’ botany, and if you are a writer (especially of mysteries) you’ll probably find this interesting.

Once I wrote a story where the antagonist was done to death by being poisoned by tomato leaves.  (Yes, the antagonist–the “bad guy.”  Trust me, he deserved it.)  I had a couple of people who commented to me that they didn’t realize and/or didn’t believe that tomato leaves were poisonous.  Indeed they are, and therein lies the beginnings of a short lesson in botanical pharmaceuticals.

The tomato plant, if you didn’t know this, is related to the potato.  Same family, Solanacaea.  In this little family, you will find not only tomatoes and potatoes (anyone here remember a vice-president who couldn’t spell?) but also tobacco, deadly nightshade, eggplant, and petunia.  Some of these plants have parts that are definitely poisonous, others have parts which, when ingested, can cause various psychotropic effects.  Atropine and scopolamine are two of the medicinal drugs derived from some of these plants.

Those of you who have indulged in tobacco use can testify to it’s addictive qualities, and the fact that, when ingested either as a product of burning or by chewing, produces a calming effect on the nerves and a reduction of appetite.

OK, where are you going with this, Tony??

I’m getting there, I promise.  Another member of that same family, not mentioned above, is jimson weed, both in it’s wild-growing form and the larger, more showy cultivated plant. Datura (another name for jimson weed) is a  source of some medicinal compounds and (according to research) the most widely-used hallucinogenic and medicinal plant in the world.  The cultivated version can be beautiful, with its large, pale flowers that resemble rolled-up silk handkerchiefs when closed and look like huge floral trumpets when open.  However, its beauty belies its danger.  Children have been poisoned by the nectar of the flower, and adults have been poisoned by trying to use its seeds or other parts for a recreational high.  Cattle have been poisoned and killed by eating the wild-growing variety in pastures, although they will usually only eat it when nothing else is available.

This past week, I drove our little electric-powered utility vehicle down the road to the park near where we live.  (It’s a small, county-maintained dead-end road that passes through our property and

Wild datura, or jimson weed

Wild datura, or jimson weed

that of others via an easement, so not much is said about such things as non-road-approved vehicles.)  There had been a visit to Salacoa Creek Park by fire and rescue and I was curious!

The excitement was small and temporary–some person had gotten too much sun and had passed out beside the concession stand.  As I was about to leave, I noticed something disturbing.  Flourishing in the flower bed beside the concession stand but away from where people spent their money for popsicles, hotdogs and soda pop, was a healthy and vibrant datura plant, with flowers six or so inches in diameter when open.  I harvested one of the immature seed pods to verify that it was indeed a datura, and I was correct.

If this were growing in a person’s garden with no children around, I wouldn’t worry about it.  It’s their business.  But here, small children run around the plant all the time.  The showy flowers cry out to be picked, although the spiny seed pods are off-putting.  EVERY part of the plant is poisonous.  So, in the real world here, I’m hoping that they will remove this dangerous plant now that it has been reported.

In the world of crime fiction, do you think that you could use some member of the Solanacaea family for some nefarious purpose?  (By the way, if you have seen the first Harry Potter movie, you may remember the three child wizards being caught in a plant called Devil’s Snare.  Devil’s Snare is another name for jimson weed.)  I’d much rather hear of it being used for fictional poisonings than for any real-world deaths.

Copyright ©2009  Tony Burton

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